Saturday, June 9, 2012

the HKUST entries: Dear Professor...

Hello everyone,

As I'm currently working on the HKUST English Debate Team blog, I wasn't able to think of anything new to tell you. However, here are 34 increasingly creative and admirable excuses to bunk classes that Yoga and I thought of a few months back. Enjoy.

Dear Professor,

34. If you don't grant me leave, I'll report you for sexual harassment.
33. As I missed the 1.20 Lift, I couldn't attend class today.
32. As India acquired its independence from England 65 years back, I don't really think you have the right to force your lecture on me.
31. My Dad's the Director of Homeland Security and he has an arrest warrant for you with regard to terrorist activities. I was at the attorney's preparing your defense.
30. You so remind me of my ex-girlfriend. That's why I'm not coming to class today.
29. As I want you to spend some time with your own family, I will not be attending class today. You needn't come to class either.
28. As my cat overslept, it couldn't wake me up. Hence, I was unable to attend your class.
27. As I'm allergic to the tubelight, I will not be attending class today.
26. As I haven't done today's classwork, I'm not attending class today.
25. As I'm the neighbour of your mistress, I really don't think there is a necessity to attend the class.
24. Seeing how cold it was in the morning, I thought we must still be in Winter Semester and thus didn't attend class today.
23. As I'm get addicted to you, I'm staying away from class today
22. I work part time in the archives of the Institute of Advanced Psychiatric Care. Yesterday, while I was organizing the files, I came across your medical report. To my shock, I realized you are a paedophile in the guise of a Professor. In order to protect myself, I will not be attending class today.
21. Earlier this week, I was in the Discrete Math class. One of the examples said: "If today is a Friday, then today will be a holiday." Today IS a friday.
20. As I was wearing clothes of the same color as the wall behind me, I think you failed to notice my presence. Kindly mark down my presence in class.
19. As the newspaper astrology column predicted you wouldn’t come to class today, I didn’t too.
18. As you didn't like my Facebook status, I'm annoyed with you and will not attend class today.
17. As I felt guilty about not attending last week's class, I couldn't be there today.
16. As I can't find a matching pair of tee-shirt and jeans, I will not attend class today.
15. As the toilet ran out of toilet paper, I couldn't attend class today.
14. I was arrested over the killing of a mosquito. By the time I got back from the court, the class was already over. Sorry!
13. As I killed a mosquito by mistake, I went to the church to confess. I'm really sorry, God.
12. As you will be in class today, I thought I should go to the stadium and support your favourite team. Don't worry, I'll send you regular score updates.
11. As I was attending a lecture on the importance of attending classes regularly, I didn't attend class today.
10. As you had zero balance on your Octopus card yesterday, I believed you wouldn't be coming anyway.
9. The last time I attended classes, I answered all your questions. In order to create a more level-playing field for my fellow students, I will not be attending class today.
8. Today, I learnt how bank loans work. So here's the deal: I miss class today(80 mins). For the next 16 classes, I'll arrive 5 minutes early. K?
7. Dear Mrs.Professor, Sorry to hear that your husband passed away. He really was the finest man I have met. RIP Prof!
6. I overheard you telling your friend that I was irregular and unreliable. You have left me no choice but to stand by your words. I won't be attending classes today as you see, I can't let my Prof be called a LIAR.
5. As I heard you had a heart attack, I went to see you in the hospital. Get well soon :D
4. As there was a tsunami in the fish pond opposite my hall, I couldn't attend class today. Don't worry, I'm safe.
3. As you said in your last lecture, life is indeed a race. We are competing everywhere from getting lunch to purchasing movie tickets to attending your class. I'm sorry I lost the last one.
2. Sorry to hear about your amnesia. I attended class, remember?
1. Today I'm working part time as a suicide bomber. Keeping in mind your best interests, I'll not be attending class today.

Best Regards,
Sathish  
Happy Bunking! :D

BTW, here is today's URL: Motivational Quotes
Good night, the Blue Planet! :) 

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